Parenting lessons from Erica

1. Any car seat that cannot be hosed down under a high pressure is not worth buying.

I always thought this, but it was confirmed after my darling daughter started coughing in the What-a-burger drive through. You see, she's a puker, so too much coughing equals throw up. Of course, I couldn't get the 5-point safety harness un-done fast enough... When I threw her into the bushes to finish, I had to wonder how many times these bushes have been thrown up on.

This particular What-a-burger is in front of Wal-mart and just down the road from Red River, the infamous saloon with live bull riding. I'm sure someone throws up at this What-a-burger at least once a week. At least I'm training Zoe on how to handle the high school years.

After a bit of coughing, the poor girl then peed her pants. I wish I could keep a hose in the back of my car.

2. Never pat yourself on the back too soon.

One kid is a puker, one is a nose-bleeder. One night, Robert woke up 3 times with nosebleeds, the first of which was so major that Robert's eyes were dilated, and I highly suspected he might pass out. Jeff did pass out, claiming the smell of all that blood was just too much. And in the morning my bathroom looked suspiciously like a crime scene. Pat on the back for handling all that mommy.

Another pat on the back for keeping him home from school, because stuffing the boys pockets with cut up tampons didn't seem right (tampons are much more compact and absorbent than kleenex, think about it, but just a little.)

Another pat on the back for noticing his eyes seemed a little extra bloodshot, then having the eye doc confirm that he has pink eye.

Another pat on the back for saving $150 because you still have some pink eye drops in the fridge. (Although, I'm wondering if there is a high street value for these drugs. $150 for 1/2 ounce?! That's some good sh!t!)

Take it all back when you realize that after 5 days of pink eye treatment, you were using the wrong eye drops. OOPS. My apologies to the entire kindergarten class, because I'm sure Robert told each and every one that he had pink eye and that was the same as The Cheese Touch. Thank you, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

3. Discipline is way harder than you think.

There are so many times when you have to wonder, should I give the kid a high-five or send them to their room? Was life always so complicated?

I took a shower. Zoe watched TV. Or so I thought. Until I found her in the living room, happily covered in chocolate. Did she find the free Halloween candy leftovers? Noooo.... she found my secret stash of organic, 60% cocoa, super amazing chocolate.

Am I proud that she has great taste?! Or angry that now I have no stash, and hiding in the pantry isn't the same without my expensive chocolate.

Robert starts Kindergarten

Robert, you started Kindergarten this year. 

You refused to do the 'first day of school' photos, but I did manage to sneak a few to prove you went. You were quite upset when you found out I was planning on driving you to school, and not letting you ride the bus the first morning. I think the chocolate milk and pancake on a stick made up for it. 

I'm wondering who decided pancakes on a stick was a good idea. Seems to me that this is the breakfast version of a corndog, but who am I to question nutrition at the school?! After all, they do offer mealy, pesticide covered apples too.

Now this photo... sometimes you just have no idea. Here is foreshadowing at it's best. Within the first month of Kindergarten, you lost countless smiley faces (the modern day equivalent of standing with your nose to the wall) due to your antics with this kid. And there you are, sitting innocently next to him on the first day of school.

Ah, the end... finally.

Then we started driving. Through nowhere. It looked a little like this. And a lot like nothing. Except for occasionally passing lots of drilling equipment.

 At least until we found the tractors. You know we had to stop and look at old rusty tractors. We even tried to ask the cowboys who only spoke Spanish if it was ok. I think they said yes.

 I know my SUV has 4 wheel drive, but I'm wondering if it was built for this.

After that, things get a little blurry. I do have these photos of my kids drinking apple juice from wine glasses in a hotel room somewhere. I also remember having a minor meltdown about not being able to eat anymore fried meats, I think I had carrot  sticks for dinner that night. Then there was something about how I was never eating a waffle the shape of Texas again. I was waffled out, and I didn't care if it was chocolate.

If you look closely, you will see that Zoe has written her name in crayon on the window. I think this is before I found the kids eating the forgotten pizza 3 days old in the back seat. (I was so hungry at that point, and refusing to eat Beaver nuggets or corn nuts or whatever nasty road food you find in Texas gas stations, if I would have found the pizza first, I would have eaten it.) And after Jeff started planning our next vacation, even though I threatened to jump from the moving car rather than plan another 40 hr car trip.

And that concludes the photographic journey of our Colorado Trip :)

And then we went to Carlsbad

After driving ALL night, he sauntered into the lovely little town of Carlsbad, NM. I imagine the majority of people in Carlsbad work in oil, somehow and most do not live there. Perhaps you can imagine my surprise when I see this on the sign of our hotel. I am sad to say, we missed the Hip Hop in the lounge.

 After failing to check into our hotel, we headed out for breakfast. We found a lovely little diner, and sent Jeff in to check it out while I changed the kids out of their pajamas (in the parking lot.) Jeff came back to the car and announced, "We're leaving."

Now, I wish I had written down more, I can't even remember the name of the place. And when I looked on google, I couldn't find anything that even sounded right.

I think Jeff's reason for leaving went something like this, "There is no cash register, no menus. Just 6 guys, with guns, sitting at a table."

The diner down the street seemed to actually be serving food, so that worked out better for us anyway. Plus we got to meet the nice 'cowboy' (Zoe was calling anyone with a hat a cowboy. And that was everyone in the restaurant) who told the the furthest he had ever been was San Antone. I've never felt more like a city slicker.

Off to Carlsbad Caverns we went! If you're wondering, it's VERY cool.

We bought the ultra cool headlamp hats. 

If you look close, you can see Zoe has had yet another bloody nose.

Zoe made her  beloved bat mask. 

It was lost and never to be found mere hours after this photo.

I had to wear a mask too. Such a good look for me.

Here is Jeff completing Robert's Junior Ranger workbook for him. 

Here is Robert and I hiking out of the caverns. We decided waiting for the elevator was BORING. We could walk up that little ol' hill out. I slightly underestimated.

 Robert after the hike.

 There we are hiking back down the next day (much easier.) 

AND we're being filmed. Look for us on some nerdy documentary somewhere!

 Wearing the hats eating pizza for dinner...

 We wear the hats for breakfast.

 We eat pizza for breakfast too. Keep an eye on this pizza. 

I believe this is Friday morning. The pizza was still being eaten, in the car, on Sunday.

Then we went to the drag races

Where we did really awesome kid things like ride chain link swings...

 And eat overpriced cotton candy

Watch really fast cars

And dance. I'm sorry Robert, but I had to put it up here.

This is going to take me forever

But now I can't stop... More photos from the memorable Colorado trip-

In Glenwood Springs, the kids learned to 'blow the conch.' I'm sure all of Glenwood was glad to see us go.

 Then we had some boring photos of Jeff playing golf...

Another makeover by Zoe. Doesn't Aunt Julie look just like a princess?!

Zoe's first car... a classic Corvette. Thanks Uncle Wendell for setting the standards high. Someone better start a car fund for this girl.

Panning for gold. Otherwise known as, playing in the dirty water.

And playing with rusty old equipment. I mean, appreciating classic pieces of historical mining gear.

Jeff sings the blues in jail.

I think she's having fun.

It's a giant buffalo (I think) of course we stopped to touch it.

Zoe strolls downtown Golden with a My Little Pony and a Rapunzel doll shoved down her shirt.

Robert insists on a photo with the famous chicken truck of White Fence Farm (this was Robert's idea, not mine.)

While everyone sleeps, Zoe and I take our balloons for a walk to Burger King. In our pajamas. Because we're classy like that.

Colorado trip, continued...

I realized as I was thinking of our upcoming road trip, that I hadn't finished the last road trip (perhaps I blocked it from my memory.) For the sake of complete reporting, I will continue on-

Day 4-
Zoe does beauty kit with black eyeliner. What a sense of style that one has.

Ah, look. A stop at Camp Gunnison. The kids aren't fighting, and they're both almost looking at the camera!

 

Touring through the Black Canyon of Gunnison. I think the Acura fits right in with the Jeep brigade don't you? 

Robert takes my picture. Proof that I am actually on this vacation.

Robert takes a picture of our new Jeep friends

Hooray! We made it to the gas station before running out of gas! Of course we'll be taking pictures on that old crusty dinosaur with a bandana and American flag lights on it!

Pitstop #12 of the day. Jeff looks thrilled doesn't he?

Beautiful views? Eh, mom this dirt looks pretty interesting...