Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The trip, extremely abbreviated

 
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Day 1- The big culture shift. I went from small town Southern Louisiana funeral, to German owned airline to small Italian airport. We landed 6 hours behind schedule to a double rainbow. (That's right, A DOUBLE RAINBOW)
Look, the Frankfurt airport looks like every other airport.


Day 2 and 3- Pass in a blur of ecstatic joy. I enjoyed myself so much I could hardly stand it. And almost felt bad that I didn’t miss my kids yet.

Dang, I should be better at converting Celsius.




I don't understand why we don't have this at home.

I'm so happy I'm glowing.
Walking home alone, ahhhhh...
Day 4- Back to see David by Michaelangelo. I’m not much for religious art, but I really can’t get too much of that man. If I could have taken him home with me I would have. Even Jeff agrees.

Day 5 and 6- When in Rome… you walk until your feet ache and drink until they are numb. I’ve been to St Peter’s basilica and think that the modern day money changers are peddling Prada knock-offs. Bernini’s sculptures are breathtaking at the Borghese.
Listen, can you hear Jeff's feet yelling at me?

It's old. We saw it.

What could they be looking at?!
Oh, a fountain. That's old.

Thank you Pope, for the cleanest potty in Italy.
Jeff says, no more photos. But he's so cute.

I want those socks.

Day 7 I think I’ve nearly killed Jeff with walking, and I’m ready to be home. One last great dinner and it’s over.







Also, when I'm excavating ancient ruins, I also like to bring along my kid's IKEA stool. How appropriate.
















Wednesday, February 19, 2014

What is love?

Love is when someone gives you enough frequent flier miles to buy an overseas flight. When they could have used those miles to upgrade themselves to first class (or at least business class) and you know their knees will be smashed into the seat in front of them in coach, while you will have plenty of room with your below average height.

Love is not red roses. Because they had red roses in first class (because I think their @#$% really does stink, and that's why they had roses lining the curved staircase leading to the upper deck.) And someone didn't even flinch.

Love doesn't even lose a step when co-workers go to the special first class entrance, and then come off the plane totally rested from the lay-flat seats.

So I conclude that love is not red roses, but maybe a big bunch of frequent flier miles. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

New Year’s resolutions, 2014


Resolutions seemed to be few and far between, so I've written a few for us all to use and enjoy.


  1. I resolve to never, ever, ever wear UG boots. Because they are UGly. Go ahead, point out how often I wear tennis shoes and yoga pants in public. I am perfectly fine with my own hypocrisy.

  1. I resolve to NOT be happy every day. Happiness is fleeting. Here’s a cup of tea to the gray and dreary days that make me contemplate my navel.

  1. I resolve to yell at my kids at least once every other month. If for nothing else, to check my volume control and let them know how amazingly splendid I am the rest of the time.

  1. I resolve to NOT run a marathon, or mud run or any other of those crazy extreme races. Because I am not a runner, nor will I ever be. (For the runners out there, maybe you should resolve to never do yoga?)

  1. Also, I resolve to happily have a few lumps and maintain my huggable normal body fat percentage. I shall never be ripped, it is not in my genes, nor my jeans.

  1. But I do resolve to not grow out of my clothes, because jeans and bras are expensive and not that fun to shop for.

  1. I resolve to drink tea. (I like to have a few easy one resolutions just in case.)

  1. I resolve to end a sentence in a preposition once in a while (see #6.)

  1. I resolve to eat cheesecake just enough to avoid #6.