Friday, October 29, 2010

Zoe and mascara... again

What's on your face Zoe?

Oh yes, very very nice...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Two sides to every story

And usually the opposing stories come from different people.

Story #1 explaining the appearance of 12 bolts in the pocket




Story #2

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I'm sick of thinking about sleep

File this under, "Things Erica didn't expect with children."

I'm sick of thinking about sleep. I'm tired of being tired, thinking about being tired, or wondering if tomorrow I will still be tired.

I'm done reading books about sleep and wondering if the children in these books are from another planet. I don't want to think about how if I'm not in bed by 9p, my chances of getting 8 hrs of sleep are zilch.

I don't want to think about whether my child should still be napping, or whether the other child should be woken up. I don't care about the best combination of foods to promote sleep. Is overtired possible?! I DON'T CARE.

Are the kids too hot? Too cold? Too tired? Not tired enough? Need a different bedtime routine? How much white noise is enough? Should their pajamas be all cotton? How much pee can a size 4 diaper really hold? Can a child have restless leg syndrome (why in the world will they not just hold still and close their eyes?!)

And most importantly... if I feed them dinner exactly 1.5 hrs before bed, then they take a 23 minute warm bath, read 1.7 books, then we all walk backwards in circles and lay down on our left sides and throw salt over our shoulders... can we just all sleep 8 hours?

Friday, October 15, 2010

I paid my child to sleep.

That's right. I did it. Of course, if you are one of those people who have the miraculous always easy sleeping children, you will never understand.

We've gone through the month of maladies here. One kid gets croup, then the other. Then the weeks of coughing. Then grandma gets Bronchitis. Then the kids get the super snots. Meanwhile Jeff is nightly chugging Nyquil like it is a glass of warm milk.

All of this makes me tired. Not in the "Boy wouldn't a nap be nice?" kind of way, but more in the "I will be sleeping in the car tomorrow if you people do not leave me alone" kind of way.

So after several nights of Zoe doing the super tantrum at 1am and Robert thinking that sleeping in his bed is akin to sleeping on nails... I did it.

He was pining for the Play-doh Fun Factory like it was the Holy Grail. Sure, you can have that fun factory. But you need money. And what's a good way to earn money? Sleep all night in your bed. That's right, DADDY will pay you $1 to sleep in your bed.

If I could only rope Zoe into this plan...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Why Zoe is not allowed to have juice boxes

Step one- remove straw.


Chug.


Smooooooth....


Chug again.


Yum. Juice down the shirt...