Parenting lessons from Erica

1. Any car seat that cannot be hosed down under a high pressure is not worth buying.

I always thought this, but it was confirmed after my darling daughter started coughing in the What-a-burger drive through. You see, she's a puker, so too much coughing equals throw up. Of course, I couldn't get the 5-point safety harness un-done fast enough... When I threw her into the bushes to finish, I had to wonder how many times these bushes have been thrown up on.

This particular What-a-burger is in front of Wal-mart and just down the road from Red River, the infamous saloon with live bull riding. I'm sure someone throws up at this What-a-burger at least once a week. At least I'm training Zoe on how to handle the high school years.

After a bit of coughing, the poor girl then peed her pants. I wish I could keep a hose in the back of my car.

2. Never pat yourself on the back too soon.

One kid is a puker, one is a nose-bleeder. One night, Robert woke up 3 times with nosebleeds, the first of which was so major that Robert's eyes were dilated, and I highly suspected he might pass out. Jeff did pass out, claiming the smell of all that blood was just too much. And in the morning my bathroom looked suspiciously like a crime scene. Pat on the back for handling all that mommy.

Another pat on the back for keeping him home from school, because stuffing the boys pockets with cut up tampons didn't seem right (tampons are much more compact and absorbent than kleenex, think about it, but just a little.)

Another pat on the back for noticing his eyes seemed a little extra bloodshot, then having the eye doc confirm that he has pink eye.

Another pat on the back for saving $150 because you still have some pink eye drops in the fridge. (Although, I'm wondering if there is a high street value for these drugs. $150 for 1/2 ounce?! That's some good sh!t!)

Take it all back when you realize that after 5 days of pink eye treatment, you were using the wrong eye drops. OOPS. My apologies to the entire kindergarten class, because I'm sure Robert told each and every one that he had pink eye and that was the same as The Cheese Touch. Thank you, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

3. Discipline is way harder than you think.

There are so many times when you have to wonder, should I give the kid a high-five or send them to their room? Was life always so complicated?

I took a shower. Zoe watched TV. Or so I thought. Until I found her in the living room, happily covered in chocolate. Did she find the free Halloween candy leftovers? Noooo.... she found my secret stash of organic, 60% cocoa, super amazing chocolate.

Am I proud that she has great taste?! Or angry that now I have no stash, and hiding in the pantry isn't the same without my expensive chocolate.