I paid my child to sleep.

That's right. I did it. Of course, if you are one of those people who have the miraculous always easy sleeping children, you will never understand.

We've gone through the month of maladies here. One kid gets croup, then the other. Then the weeks of coughing. Then grandma gets Bronchitis. Then the kids get the super snots. Meanwhile Jeff is nightly chugging Nyquil like it is a glass of warm milk.

All of this makes me tired. Not in the "Boy wouldn't a nap be nice?" kind of way, but more in the "I will be sleeping in the car tomorrow if you people do not leave me alone" kind of way.

So after several nights of Zoe doing the super tantrum at 1am and Robert thinking that sleeping in his bed is akin to sleeping on nails... I did it.

He was pining for the Play-doh Fun Factory like it was the Holy Grail. Sure, you can have that fun factory. But you need money. And what's a good way to earn money? Sleep all night in your bed. That's right, DADDY will pay you $1 to sleep in your bed.

If I could only rope Zoe into this plan...