Houston Children's Museum

So many things happen in a young *ahem* mother's life to make her copmletely question her sanity.

Robert has been asking for MONTHS to go to the nyouseum (that's Children's Museum for those not fluent in Robert speak.) This is a museum designed for kids. SURELY, I can handle two kids in 90,000 sf of kid proof museum. Right?

Before I go further, let's talk money. If you go to the museum 3 times in a year, it's worth it to buy a membership. This is the second time this year, so I'm thinking this is a better deal. Plus, you can sign up online. That's a bonus for when you're arriving at the museum with 2 rambunctious kids. Now Jeff, big spoil sport he is, says I should go, buy a normal day pass then at the end buy the membership if I still want it since they will refund your day pass money if you purchase the same day.

My response? He must be completely insane. Has he not seen what it is to take two children out in public?

His response? Just plan to save a little time at the end, before the kids are completely wound up, to go back to admissions counter.

I, of course, completely dismiss his 'logic' as a pile of poo. He clearly does not have enough experience in this category. Maybe some day I will tell everyone about the Chick Fil A incident of 2010.

And off we go. Both kids are dressed (go mom!), I'm dressed, and we're in the car with our shiny new membership and directions. I would say we are fed, but I'm pretty sure Robert only ate one bite of breakfast before he decided green peppers were clearly food for heathen.

A bit more traffic than I would have cared for, but thanks to the miracles of modern technology and Elmo, the ride was not all that bad.

And we arrive! Woohoo! Yippee! Finally!

Robert is in complete amazement. He can barely be contained he is so excited. But mommy, in all her wisdom, kept on course. Upstairs, they have a 'Tot Spot.' A place for wild, I mean curious and active, children like mine can be contained while they explore. We navigate through the crowds and excitement, up the elevator, take off our shoes and...

DENIED! That's right. The tot spot is exceptionally busy. So only children 35 months and under are allowed to enter. Robert barely passes as 3, apparently he's a huge 3 yr old. Now I'm starting to get irked.

AND there's a camera crew there. I duck my head. They're interviewing people about crib recalls. No, no not me. Neither of my kids use a crib. They're on the floor. Plus I'm still a little pissy about being denied entrance to the place I just drove 45 minutes to play in. But no, the man says, people want to know about that, please just let us ask a couple of questions.

Well, the problem with me is that I will talk to anyone. So of course I start blabbing about kids and sleeping and all my theories on parenting. And some guy with a camera and I'm sure unflattering bright light, videos me. And by theories I mean, do whatever is easiest (the lazy part of my theory,) and what gets me the most sleep.

Question guy says, "You should write a book." Hahahaha.

Meanwhile, Robert is sobbing because he can't go look at the telescope. Gee I hope they got that on camera too.

We make our way downstairs, and filter outside to the waterworks area. This is fun, except Robert is still completely excited and running in circles. And then, while playing with the water, pees his pants. Now, part of me says, who cares? He's half wet anyway. But the other part of me says, if you can't go to the potty, you have to leave.

More crying.

We eat lunch in the car, do a complete outfit change for Robert (go mommy for having a complete change down to the shoes) go back in for 15 minutes, just to try and salvage the disaster. Then leave.

As I'm driving home, and Robert is singing the classics to me (small and giant, big and giant, small and giant, etc. Your guess is as good as mine,) I can't help but think about the day.

Then I remember... the interview. For the love of... why did I do that? You know how you watch people on TV and think, WHY would you go on TV looking like that? Oh yes. In the background the beautiful blond with impeccable makeup and clothes was watching me and my sobbing children. She is who they will see first. Then me, sweaty, clinging kids and a little pissy. Great.

Next time I'm going to IKEA. Oh wait, I bought a year membership! We get to go back! TWO MORE TIMES! All because I ridiculed my husband and his day pass idea. So on top of it all, Jeff, you were right.