Please leave Mr. Croup

Dear Mr. Croup,

Please kindly pack your bags and leave. I was very polite when your cousin, Mr. StomachBug, came to visit. I even attempted to teach my almost 3 yr old how to throw up in a toilet (I'm still wondering when they learn this.) And it was slightly cute that he came to sit on my lap EVERY time he was about to throw up.

But then you came. I sat up with the 3 yr old sounding like a barking seal. I spent time hanging out in the doctors office. I filled the insanely overpriced prescription. By the way, thanks to GE for putting so much trust in me to take charge of my medical life which is another way of saying all my prescriptions will now cost $300.

Then I sat with the 1 yr old doing the same familiar seal noises.

I believe I should also thank you for the insane head cold I have.

I surrender. Can I offer you a car? Some money for a plane ticket? Because I'm ready for sleep. And ready to leave the house again.

Thank you kindly and please do not come back.