Counting, Hoke style

I'm not saying my kids are geniuses, but clearly they are. We just have a few teeny tiny problems...

For example, counting.

Here is how Zoe counts- 4, 3, 2, 1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. That's sort of close right?

And the other day we were pointing out numbers, Robert says, "That's Onedy-Five." Or fifteen, but whatever, I like the logic.

The day we ate lunch from the vending machine

Some days I just think are worth remembering.

We headed down to a more 'established' (code old) area of town to have the DVD player in the car replaced (under warranty.) I have mixed feelings about this as you know all the talk about TV rotting your brain and all. At this point, I'm pretty sure TV is rotting MY brain as my kids seem immune to it. I, on the other hand, am extremely jealous of Toot & Puddle. Sure, no one wants to be named Toot. But that pig lives the life of luxury. From what I can tell, they live scot-free in some adorable cottage just outside of a friendly cute town AND they take exotic vacations every week where they enter waffle contests and such. I'm no waffle expert but I could learn if that meant a free trip to Belgium. Or the Galapagos Islands. Not on the top of my travel list, but if that's the National Geographic trip of the week I have no problem going. Just sayin'.

Anyway, off we went with mommy's foggy brain. The shop is across the street from a McDonald's, so the obvious solution seems to be drop the car off then walk over to the playplace.

You know in the movies how they do that chalk line at a crime scene? And the body shape is always one arm up, one arm down, one leg bent? I had never realized that maybe that shape was based on fact. But right there beside the McDonald's entrance was a man, face down, in the chalk line pose. Complete with Wonder Bread PB&J sandwich in a baggie at his feet.

I'm no medical expert, but that can be good. There was another slightly homeless looking man talking to him, then mumbling for all to hear, "You just can't help some people."

My kids were totally oblivious. I, on the other hand, was not. He was still alive, so that's good.

We made it with our breakfast into the playplace area. It was 10 am. Robert climbs to the top and immediately yells, "Gross!" After the chalk-line passed out man out front, I could only imagine what could be at the top waiting for me. It was only an ice cream cone. An ice cream cone. It was 10am. I'm not sure if I was glad it was a half-eaten ice cream cone or not.

In case you haven't kept up with the Toy Story movies, let me pause here. In the third movie, one of my favorite parts is when the toys try to change Buzz Lightyear back from demo mode but instead switch Buzz to Spanish mode.

Several kids had come in to play, and you know what I hear Robert say?

"It's like Spanish mode in here!"

He said it at least 5 times. My husband thinks this is hilarious. Secretly I hope the rest of the people don't speak ANY English. Then I see the ambulance. That's right, to come fetch chalk-line man.

We head back to the shop, thinking surely the car is done. It's not. And it's not. And still not.. Now it's getting close to lunch. There is no way I'm heading back to chalk-line Spanish mode McD's. I just don't have it in me. And that's how the day turned into, "The day we ate lunch from the vending machine."

I'm glad I could give my kids this experience at such an early age. I'm thinking it will help keep them well-rounded.




And yes, Zoe has a Oreo in one hand and cheeto in her mouth. That's 2 different colors. Surely that counts for something.

Dedicated to my husband

Jeff is now threatening me if I don't post more. Who knew it would come to this?!

In his honor, one of his least favorite pictures of Mexico. More to come later when I have some coffee and go back to being a loving wife :)


PS. Your son woke up and said, "I came out to tell daddy to take me to Chuck E. Cheese." I may have suggested that only daddy can take him there. I hereby realize I deserve whatever is coming to me.

Before I go story-telling...

Robert painted Zoe's fingernails AND toenails. He says he is a ped-care man.

He may need a little tiny bit of practice before I can start charging for his services...

Wanna guess who the first was

to require sutures? Go ahead, and I'll tell you the story :)


A lovely Sunday morning. Zoe decided she should take a shower WITH me. I've already notified Jeff that the more this happens the less shaving happens. Out of the shower, Zoe figures all the mommy talk about drying off first is over-rated and take off. Splat.

I sit down with her and see the blood. Then I see the gaping wound on her chin. Now, in Jeff's defense, he had just woken up and had taken Nyquil the night before. Jeff squats down to look, then stands up and nearly passes out. Hmmm. Mental note for the next 16 years of child accidents.

This is not my first time at the rodeo, and although I am sure we need some kind of closure to happen, I am not going to Urgent Care in a towel. So I plunk Zoe down in the living room with a towel and the TV and go to get dressed, brush my teeth and dry my hair. This is 7 minutes well spent for me. I did put on the dirty clothes on the closet floor, because the t-shirt was black and I will be toting a bloody child around.

Thanks to the highly tattooed man with the go-tee for the quick check-in. $100, a tube of glue and some steri-strips and we are set. Excellent mother I am, I tried to get a good photo of it. But my subject was not exactly cooperative.

Someone has been helping me pack

Hmmm. Who could it be?

What my camera does while I'm not looking

I went to upload photos from my camera and discovered that I had a staggering 256 photos to upload. What could be hidden in there you ask?

Someone has been using my camera. And it's not me.
Is that GraveDigger?!
The clues are unfolding...
Ah yes, a little blue eyed boy with a bad case of the blepheritis.

Look for Chapter 2 of the Robert Chronicles later this week.